150+ Best Deez Nuts Jokes to Crack You Up Anytime

I have heard plenty of wordplay, but nothing and I mean nothing—hits harder than a perfectly timed Deez Nuts jokes and puns. They’re dad jokes’ wild, slightly inappropriate cousin—and I’m obsessed.

So I did what any true nut-lover would do: collected the funniest Deez Nuts puns and pickup lines, polished ’em up, and packed them with pure chaos. Get ready to screenshot, share, and drop these bombs when your friends least expect it. Let’s go nuts. 🥜

Best Candice Jokes and Deez Nuts Puns

You think you’ve heard every punchline—until Candice shows up. These jokes are short, flirty, and guaranteed to get a laugh (and probably a groan).

• Have you seen Candice?
• Candice Nuts fit in your mouth?
• Candice car fit through that tiny alley?
• Not as well as Deez can.
• Candice be the moment?
• She can—but only with Deez.
• Did you RSVP to Candice’s party?
• She’s serving Deez on a platter.
• You know Candice’s cousin, Bofa?
• Yeah—Bofa Deez Nuts. Legendary bloodline.
• Candice fit in that small carry-on?
• Not when Deez are already packed.
• Heard Candice is dating someone new.
• His name? Ligma. First name Deez.
• Candice stop being so nosy?
• Only if Deez stop popping up in convos.
• You believe in love at first sight?
• Because Candice Nuts just made my day.
• You know Candice invented a new emoji?
• It’s the universal symbol for Deez.

Behind the Punchline
Candice jokes are the final boss of wordplay—unexpected, outrageous, and perfect for when your group chat needs a little chaos.

Best Nutty Joke Setups That Crack Everyone Up

These start off sweet and end up salty — the perfect recipe for chaos and laughter.

• Have you met Candice?
  Candice Nuts fit in your mouth?
• Did you hear about Ligma?
  Ligma Nuts!
• You know Joe, right?
  Joe Mama!
• Ever been to Sugma’s party?
  Sugma Nuts!
• Did Wendy call you back?
  Wendy’s Nuts hit your chin!
• You still talking to Bofa?
  Bofa Deez Nuts!
• Is Phillip coming tonight?
  Phillip On Deez Nuts!
• Have you tried Imagine Dragons?
  Imagine Dragon Deez Nuts across your face!
• You know Saw Con’s happening soon?
  Saw Con Deez Nuts!
• Did you see the new fitness trend, Updog?
  What’s Updog? Not much—just Deez Nuts!

Behind the Punchline
Classic setups, evil punchlines. Drop these in chats, group calls, or anywhere people least expect it—because nothing beats a well-timed nut joke.

Funny Ligma-Style Jokes That’ll Catch You Off Guard

DiThese sneaky setups sound innocent—until the punchline hits and chaos erupts. Perfect for pranking your friends or testing who’s really paying attention.

• Have you heard of Ligma?
  Ligma Nuts!
• Did you see the new CEO of Sugma Corp?
  Yeah—Sugma Nuts!
• Ever been to Bofa Bank?
  Bofa Deez Nuts!
• You know the artist Imagine Dragons?
  Imagine Dragon Deez Nuts across your face!
• Did you catch the Saw Con livestream?
  Saw Con Deez Nuts!
• Have you seen Wendy lately?
  Wendy’s Nuts hit your chin!
• You know Phillip, right?
  Phillip On Deez Nuts!
• Ever tried Updog?
  What’s Updog? Not much—just Deez Nuts!
• Heard of Grabah?
  Grabah Nuts!
• Did you talk to Candice yet?
  Candice Nuts fit in your mouth?

Behind The Punchline:
These jokes are all about the setup. Keep a straight face, deliver with confidence, and watch your friends realize—too late—that they’ve been got.

Dirty Nut Jokes and Puns One-Liners

Quick hits with max impact. These are the TikTok-ready, screenshot-friendly, send-to-your-crush kind of lines.

• These aren’t just nuts, they’re Deez kinds of nuts.
• Call me an acorn, ‘cause I’m always droppin’ Deez nuts.
• Life’s short. Grab Deez nuts while you can.
• Don’t choke on opportunity, or Deez nuts.
• I came here to laugh and drop Deez nuts. Mission accomplished.
• Not everything’s a joke, except Deez nuts. Always.
• Get someone who treats you like I treat Deez nuts, with respect and memes.
• I’m not immature, I’m professionally nutty, especially about Deez nuts.
• These jokes go straight to the funny bone and then down to Deez nuts.

Behind the Punchline
Perfect for social bios, captions, or those “roast me” moments. These one-liners hit fast and land hard.

Best and Funniest Deez nut Jokes and puns

You want setups so smooth, they won’t even see it coming? These are your A-game starters.

• You know what’s worse than stepping on a Lego?
• Getting hit with Deez outta nowhere.
• I’m studying geography again.
• Big focus on the Deez region.
• You trust me, right?
• Then hold on to Deez.
• You ever heard of the philosopher Ligma?
• His thesis was on the weight of Deez.
• I just got a new bank account.
• Username: BigD. Password: Deez.
• I joined a support group.
• We meet weekly to talk about the trauma from Deez.
• I’m allergic to cheap humor.
• Too bad I’m covered in Deez.
• The government called.
• They want to tax Deez for being too funny.
• I’m saving up for a rainy day.
• Right now, I got about 47 Deez in the bank.
• You read that new book on resilience?
• Chapter 3 is just, Deez.

Behind the Punchline
Use these as story-starters, tweets, or surprise drops during serious convos. Bonus if they don’t realize until a second later.

Fresh Deez Nuts Jokes with Just the Right Amount of Crunch

These push the limits and that’s exactly why they work.

• Deez ain’t peanuts, baby. They’re high-protein heartbreakers.
• Loving Deez is wrong? I don’t wanna be right about it.
• My love language is wordplay and clever mischief.
• She asked for a snack. I handed her a surprise.
• You like surprises? I unzipped something unexpected.
• I don’t sext, I just send screenshots of my funniest finds.
• My vibe is 70% chaos, 30% playful energy.
• These nuts are so good, they belong in a museum display.
• Tinder banned me—too many jokes in my bio.
• Being naughty isn’t the same as nutty. I keep it quirky.

Behind the Punchline
Instagram captions, flirty text energy, or tweet fodder. These are for when you feel like causing problems—on purpose.

Best Ligma-Style Setups and Punchlines for a Good Laugh

These sneaky one-liners sound innocent—until the punchline drops and chaos erupts. Perfect for roasting friends, breaking awkward silences, or just causing harmless mayhem.

• Ever heard of Ligma?
  Ligma who? Ligma Nuts!
• You know the company Sugma?
  Sugma Nuts, bro!
• Did you meet my friend Bofa?
  Bofa Deez Nuts!
• Have you talked to Candice?
  Candice Nuts fit in your mouth?
• You into Imagine Dragons?
  Imagine Dragon Deez Nuts across your face!
• Heard about Saw Con this year?
  Saw Con Deez Nuts!
• Wendy said she was calling you.
  Wendy’s Nuts hit your chin!
• Phillip’s coming later.
  Phillip On Deez Nuts!
• You know the influencer Grabah?
  Grabah Nuts!
• Have you tried that new workout, Updog?
  What’s Updog? Not much—just Deez Nuts!

Behind The Punchline:
Deliver these with total confidence and a straight face. The slower the setup, the harder the fall—and the louder the laugh.

Funny Nut Jokes with a Candice Twist for kids

These punchlines follow the Candice formula—innocent start, evil finish.

• My neighbor Candice is so dramatic.
• Yeah, she cries over Deez.
• Candice wedding be the event of the year?
• Only if Deez are invited.
• You going to Candice graduation?
• She got her doctorate in Deez.
• You smell that?
• It’s Candice Nuts roasting on an open fire.
• Candice friends stop being so wild?
• Only if you stop dropping Deez.
• You think Candice knows what’s up?
• She’s the founder of the Deez movement.
• My aunt Candice makes the best pie.
• It’s filled with Deez, fresh from the oven.
• Candice therapist really get her?
• Especially after all those Deez sessions.
• You got a problem with Candice?
• You might also have a problem with Deez.
• Candice text back?
• Only to hit me with Deez in return

Behind the Punchline
Great for call-and-response style pranks or storytelling setups. Say it casually, then watch the punch land like a freight train.

Classic Deez Setups That Still Make Everyone Laugh

Some jokes are classics for a reason—they sneak up innocent, then hit you like a nutty punchline. Perfect for texts, TikToks, or pranking friends.

• Have you met Candice?
  Candice Nuts fit in your mouth?
• Do you know Bofa?
  Bofa Deez Nuts!
• Heard of Ligma?
  Ligma Nuts!
• You listen to Imagine Dragons?
  Imagine Dragon Deez Nuts across your face!
• Saw Con happening soon?
  Saw Con Deez Nuts!
• Did Wendy call you back?
  Wendy’s Nuts hit your chin!
• Have you met Phillip?
  Phillip On Deez Nuts!
• Tried the new app Grabah?
  Grabah Nuts!
• Went to Sugma Fest yet?
  Sugma Nuts!
• Heard about the Updog trend?
  What’s Updog? Not much—just Deez Nuts!

Behind the Punchline: Simple, sneaky, and shockingly effective—these setups lure people in, then hit them with the nuttiest punchline possible. Classic comedy gold. say it with a straight face.

Deez Setups That Never Miss — Clean and Clever Laughs

These jokes are clever, harmless, and guaranteed to get a laugh. Perfect for texts, group chats, or breaking the ice.

• Have you met Candice?
  Candice Nuts fit in your mouth!
• Do you know Bofa?
  Bofa Deez Nuts!
• Heard of Ligma?
  Ligma Nuts!
• Ever listen to Imagine Dragons?
  Imagine Dragon Deez Nuts across your face!
• Saw Con is coming up?
  Saw Con Deez Nuts!
• Did Wendy call you?
  Wendy’s Nuts hit your chin!
• Met Phillip yet?
  Phillip On Deez Nuts!
• Tried the app Grabah?
  Grabah Nuts!
• Went to Sugma Fest?
  Sugma Nuts!
• Heard about the Updog challenge?
  What’s Updog? Not much—just Deez Nuts!

Behind the Punchline
Perfect for group chats or dropping in during serious convos. The key is to start with a believable setup and never give away the punch too early.

Best Celebrity-Inspired Deez Nut Drops

Mix pop culture with classic Deez Nuts humor—these setups are perfect for surprising your friends and getting laughs fast.

• Have you met Kim?
  Kim Deez Nuts!
• You follow Drake on Instagram?
  Drake Deez Nuts!
• Did you see Beyoncé’s latest video?
  Beyon-Ce Deez Nuts!
• Heard about Tom Holland’s new movie?
  Tom Hold-On Deez Nuts!
• You know Rihanna’s new song?
  Ri-Hanna Deez Nuts!
• Did you watch Will Smith’s interview?
  Will Smith Deez Nuts!
• Kanye dropped a new album, right?
  Kan-Ye Deez Nuts!
• Have you seen Taylor Swift lately?
  Tay-Lore Deez Nuts!
• LeBron scored again?
  Le-Bron Deez Nuts!
• Did you hear about Elon’s latest launch?
  Elon Musk Deez Nuts!

Behind the Punchline
Use these during celebrity gossip convos. They work great for pop culture fans who aren’t expecting your jokes to go nutty.

Deez Nuts Jokes & Puns for Your Best Friends

Because trolling your closest friends is the highest form of love.

• Bro, you left something at my place.
• Oh? Yeah—Deez Nuts!
• You ever hear how friendship is all about trust?
• Cool. Now trust me, with Deez Nuts.
• I made cookies but forgot the main ingredient.
• Spoiler: It was Deez Nuts.
• You’re always saying I never give you anything.
• So here—take Deez.
• Just finished a group project with you.
• Credit goes to everyone, especially Deez.
• You remember that time in school?
• Yeah, you failed, Deez.
• You ever feel like life’s just a constant test?
• Well, surprise quiz: Deez Nuts.
• Got you a gift, man.
• It’s handmade and full of love—and full of Deez.
• I’m really proud of us and our friendship.
• Because nothing’s stronger than the bond of Deez.
• Wanna go out tonight?
• Only if you can handle Deez.

Behind the Punchline
Perfect for roasting sessions, birthday cards, or even inside jokes. Friends don’t let friends go un-nutted.

Flirty Deez Nuts Jokes for When You Wanna Roast

These hit like spicy wings at 2AM—hot, unnecessary, and extremely satisfying.

• Oh, you think you’re funny?
• Not as funny as Deez.
• You’ve been real loud lately.
• Might be time to shut up and chew on Deez.
• You got a new haircut?
• Cool. Too bad it can’t cover up Deez.
• Talking big for someone who can’t handle
• Deez.
• You acting like you run the game.
• Spoiler alert: You can’t even catch Deez.
• Heard you were looking for attention.
• Try looking behind Deez.
• You say you don’t like surprises?
• Then you’re really gonna hate Deez.
• I don’t argue with clowns.
• Especially ones who don’t recognize Deez.
• You’re talking out of pocket.
• Hope that pocket’s big enough for Deez.
• Wanna go toe-to-toe in a roast battle?
• Let’s go—first round’s Deez.

Behind the Punchline
Use these only when you’re with the crew and they know it’s all love. Warning: laughter may cause chaos.

Best Deez Nuts Jokes and puns with a Twist

Just when they think they’ve heard it all, hit ’em with these curveballs.

• Today, I invested in some stock.
• Yeah, Deez Nuts just went public.
• Finally, I found my passion in life.
• Turns out I was born to serve Deez.
• I decided to take a vow of silence.
• Until someone mentions Deez.
• Every morning, I meditate.
• It helps me align my inner Deez.
• Earlier, I wrote a poem—wanna hear it?
• Roses are red, violets are blue and you just got hit with Deez outta the blue.
• Recently, I started a podcast.
• First episode: The Nutcracker Suite featuring Deez.
• This week, I began meal-prepping.
• Breakfast, lunch, and Deez.
• Lately, I’ve been soul-searching.
• Turns out my soul was hiding in Deez.
• Right now, I’m working on myself.
• And by that, I mean working on better ways to say Deez.
• Yesterday, I asked my therapist how to deal with anger.
• She said: “Start with forgiveness then end with Deez.”

Behind the Punchline
Perfect for text convos, late-night voice chats, or confusing your therapist. Unexpected = unforgettable.

Holiday Themed Best Deez Nuts Jokes and Puns

Bring Deez to every celebration, because they’re the gift that keeps on giving.

• Merry Christmas! You got me what?
• Oh, Deez.
• Happy Halloween!
• Here’s your treat, and here come Deez.
• Valentine’s Day’s all about love,
• So here’s my heart. And Deez.
• Independence Day?
• Yeah, free to say Deez as loud as I want.
• Thanksgiving dinner?
• I’m thankful for family, pie, and Deez.
• New Year’s Resolution?
• More cardio, less stress, more Deez.
• Easter egg hunt?
• Found ‘em, Deez were in the backyard!
• Black Friday sale?
• Everything half off—except Deez.
• Your birthday gift?
• Wrapped in love. Powered by Deez.
• Groundhog saw its shadow.
• Six more weeks of Deez.

Behind the Punchline
Use these for custom memes, party invites, or even festive voice notes. Deez are seasonless.

Conclusion

If you made it this far without laughing out loud, I don’t trust you (or your sense of humor). The truth is, a good “Deez Nuts” joke and puns never dies—it just evolves. And now you’ve got the best Deez Nuts jokes and puns in your arsenal to crush convos, spice up group chats, and turn any situation into a hilarious moment.

Have a favorite? Drop it in the comments or tag your crew and see who falls for it first. Let’s keep the nutty love going. Because honestly, what’s life without a little Deez?

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FAQs

What does D’s nuts mean in slang?

It’s a classic joke punchline used for surprise humor. The phrase became an internet meme, not meant to be taken seriously.

What are some popular Deez Nuts songs?

Dr. Dre’s “Deeez Nuuuts” (1992) started it all, later inspiring a band called Deez Nuts known for punk and metal tracks.

Is “deez” a noun?

No, it’s slang for “these.” It’s just part of the joke setup — not a real noun.

How did the Deez Nuts song come about?

It began with Dr. Dre’s The Chronic album and resurfaced decades later through viral Vine and TikTok memes.

What do nuts mean in vulgar slang?

“Nuts” can mean testicles, but in jokes like Deez Nuts, it’s mostly used for comic wordplay and harmless fun.